When you don’t drink, people always want to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ It never happens with anything else. ‘You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside …’

When you don’t drink, people always want to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ It never happens with anything else. ‘You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside …’

Jim Gaffigan (via marco…chrispazen)

Ahah, fave quote. Never could remember who it was, though.